It was once said that 'parting is such sweet sorrow'. It has also been said that 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. There are many famous sayings, proverbs, and anecdotes that have helped people say goodbye--since, I would have to guess, the beginning of man. I can almost see the first relative of man inventing the wheel, using the wheel to make his life easier, and then, eventually trading in the first for a better, two-wheel drive model. I can also see him leaving the cave of his neighbor, two wheels heavier, six mammoth pelts lighter, stopping, and gazing back at the lone wheel that had made his life, well....almost enjoyable.
Why do we put so much emphasis on saying goodbye? People. Places. Possessions. No matter what we have, who we meet, or what we experience--it all comes with a final moment.
I, just as many before me and many more, have said my share of goodbyes. Each time the words are the same but the reasons and emotions are different, unique. I have had to say goodbye to family--whom I will not be able to say hello to again. I have had to say goodbye without the comfort of receiving one in return. I have said goodbye to places I may or may not see again. I have said goodbye to places that have been my home, my sanctuary. Each time, it is more difficult, for different reasons.
The lead up to goodbye--the anticipation--can be just as grueling and just as draining as the moment the words start in the brain and the vocal cords vibrate and finally, the trembling lips force the sounds into the recognizable utterances that transcend almost any language.
I then think about the things to which we say goodbye--the things we get rid of. We, as humans--as Americans, live in a world of daily goodbyes. We say goodbye to newspapers, to soda cans, to take-out wrappers, to old and frayed clothing, to junk mail, to that bullshit job that has just not really been worth the quality time with loved ones sacrificed, to...(fill in the blank). We are more accustomed to bidding farewell because there is always something new to which we are almost forced to day hello. We are driven by consumerism, by the lust to not only keep up with the Jones', but the be the Jones'.
I grew up in a household where we did not get rid of something that was perfectly good in its purpose just because there was something newer that could do the same job, supposedly better. 'If it ain't broke, don't fuck with it' was the mantra. Maine has a reputation as a self-sufficient, hard-working, no-frills state of existence, but I think it goes beyond that. I am part of Generation X (as lame as that still is) and we were programmed to live a life totally different from that of our forefathers (and mothers). We were told that newer is better, more is what we should strive for, radical and different are the only qualities that have value. Old belongs in a museum, but the real world needs to get the hell out of the way of progress.
The 'Greatest Generation' and the 'Baby Boomers,' some say, are cut from a tougher cloth. They experienced some of the most testing times of our history. World Wars, economic feast and famine, nuclear crisis, assassinations, civil unrest, and ever changing times instilled a respect of and an ability to find value in the constant. Form fits function. This one of the few points I remember from high school biology and a concept that was never lost on those who made their way in the world before the internet, before grunge music, before hip-hop, before cell phones, and the multi-million dollar sports contract. Nope. It worked because it worked. If it did the job, it was worth all its costs. If it did not live up to its promises...it went overboard (or, more likely, it was recycled (before that was even a concept) into something that functioned in some other necessary capacity). And, that was the way it was.
So, what is the way it will be? Will we continue to live a disposable lifestyle--trading in our leased, pseudo-luxury automobiles every 3 years so we can have the, newer, 'better' version of the same thing? Or, will we be able to--as a collective society--see the intrinsic value in something that stands by us and never lets us down. Sure, it may be quirky, it may draw puzzled looks and thoughts of pity, but goddamnit, it's been good. We will always remember the good times and relive the days of glory. And, for those times when all was not rainbows and butterflies--shit, those just make for interesting war stories when yearning for the days of yesteryear.
*Photo Credit: C. Lawson (Betty White handling the blizzard of 2010--with ease. You will be missed. Love you, old girl).
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